In Marriage...
June 11, 2016 I married the guy I so gratefully get to call my husband of the past two years. When I look back on our love story I see God's hand through every step of it, especially in our marriage.
Growing up every little girl dreams of their fairytale wedding where they will wear a big white dress that sparkles and be treated like a princess for the entire day. What no one tells that little girl who is dreaming of the day she marries her prince charming is that marriage takes work. The first thing I will begin with is that the work is worth it. God created us to be in a marriage relationship, but He never promised it would be easy. This also means that radiating joy in marriage is also not going to be a cake walk.
Matthew 19:6 says, "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate." I love this verse for many reasons, but especially because when I think of my husband and I, I get to think of of us as one unit because God has joined us together. Being joined with someone else in Christ is so powerful against the attacks of the devil. "A chord of three strange is not easy broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) When my husband and I are pursuing Christ with one another daily and continually seeking Him individually we aren't allowing room for the devil to do his work. However, the closer we grow to Christ the harder the devil is going to attack us. That goes for you, too. When the devil can feel you growing closer to God he is going to pursue you even harder. Don't let him win. When you continue to pursue Christ with your spouse you are radiating joy in your marriage.
Another way to radiate joy in marriage is by being watchful or the words we speak. "Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body." (Proverbs 16:24) Speaking words of life in your marriage radiates continual amounts of joy because these words are not only good for the soul of your spouse, but they are good for those who speak them. I haven't met anyone who regrets saying kind words, but once we saying something that is harsh or rash usually without thinking through what we are saying regret sets in. "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit - you choose." (Proverbs 18:24) Words have the power of life and death. What type of words are you going to choose to say to your spouse every time you open your mouth? I hope they are words that will radiate His joy.
Finally, you can radiate joy in your marriage by loving each other above all else. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8) Knowing how to love your spouse is essential in cultivating a marriage of love. Each person receives love differently and also shows love differently. When you know your spouses love language and you consciously make the choice to love them using their love language, even if it isn't how you typically show love - you are radiating joy in your marriage. My love language is is definitely words of affirmation and my husband does an incredible job and consciously telling me why he loves me or even just simply saying "thank you" for updating the budget or going grocery shopping. Loving each other above all doesn't only include loving each other in the best way, but it means loving one another continually no matter what they last did to upset you. Forgiving is part of loving and when we choose to forgive our spouse for their mess ups, lack of cleaning, or whatever it may be then we are choosing to continually love them.
These three things aren't they only ways to radiate joy in marriage, but they are the big things I have learned in the past two years of being married to my husband, Kyle. I know that I have a lot more I can learn and I definitely don't get these three things right all the time, but I am continually trying to be a better wife every day than the day I was before. So if you're a newlywed or been married for more years than I can count on my fingers I hope this post blesses you and your marriage. Here's to radiate joy in our marriages daily.
xoxo,
Rachel Marie
